That last one sucked, here's another:

Do You Ever...
[sit on the internet all day waiting for someone special to I.M. you?]: Not since I found out Santa Claus isn't real.
[save aol/aim conversations]: No, but my computer does!
[wish you were a member of the opposite sex]: What? That's fuckin insane. Of course I do.
[cried because of someone saying something to you]: Yeah, this one time Jimmy was like "dude, I'll give you five bucks if you cry right now" and I was all like "dude, ok sweet deal yeah baby" and then I cried. It was a very emotional time for all of us.