My Will

When I die, I want the following to take place:

BURIAL: My grave will be a giant hole in the ground big enough to fit my body. The hole will have metal walls inside of it and a glass or glass/plastic roofing which will be equal to the ground. People may walk up to my grave and see through the glass into the small underground box in which my body will lay. If enough money is available, I would like my limbs to be strung together like a puppet at the bones. In front of my tomb will be a button to press. On pressing the button, my body will start dancing due to the puppet srtings attached to the bones being pulled mechanically. Viewers will see this at night as well, as the metal tomb has lights in it that activate upon pressing the button. The bones will be connected at their joints so even as a skeleton my whole body can still dance.

FUNERAL: The four nearest homeless people from the time and place of the funeral will be hired as a musical singing quartet. They will be paid fifty dollars each if they agree to come up with an original song pertaining to a theme of "life goes on." They will have fifteen to thirty minutes to make up the song at which poin they will sing it for the audience of mourners. No hard drug users or prostitutes should be hired, even if they are within the five bum radius.

GRAVESTONE: I want a really cool looking gravestone. A creepy one. Like something Tim Burton might make. If I am famous and respected when I die, and I die before Tim Burton dies: have Tim Burton make the gravestone personally for me. If Burton doesn't know who I am at my time of death, have a gravestone made modeled after his style. Also use the type of skulls that were put on really old creepy gravestones. I'll find a good picture of what I'm talkin about sometime soon. A permenant vase should also be put into the ground near the headstone.

EPITAPH: It shall read "BELOVED CUNT" until I think of something better.