Movie Review: Casablanca

A classic.. I'm not all that much into classics, but I'm always curious to see what all the fuss is about. I kind of liked this movie, not as much as big movie buffs, but I liked it ok. Kind of a simple plot for me and not all that much happened. It was made really well; the lighting and the scenery and everything was good, but I wouldn't put it in my top ten movie list like many other people. Mainly, I think, people like this movie for Humphrey Boghart's character, Rick. He wasn't all that interesting or believable to me, and I think he acted the part a little over the top. Nevertheless, the movie did have Peter Lorre in it... who is always crazy and will remind you of a pedophile, whether or not you have seen Fritz Lang's M.

Movie Review: City Of Lost Souls

A Brazilian man and a Chinese fall in love in Japan. Unfortunately, the woman is about to be deported, so they plan to get fake passports and stowaway in a ship going overseas. When that doesn't work, they decide to steal a suitcase of cash in a drug deal they are not involved in. They end up getting the wrong suitcase - the one full of coke. Now they have some big time gangsters on their tail, which is not surprising since the cocaine they stole is rare. Any chance they take at selling it leads gangsters on to their sent. I don't have to tell you that this is a violent gangster movie, with the twist that only Takashi Miike can bring. Also, here is a matrix cockfight and an intense ping-pong match to be seen, if that's your bag.

3 1/2

Graduation

So I had my graduation ceremony today. I officially "graduated." There was probably some funny stuff I need to post about that, but I can't remember right now.

Junk Mail: 55 Today

I got fifty-five emails today from junk mail. That is way too many to be getting in one day. The other days weren't much lower than that either; I just never counted how many I had in one day before. I really need to set up a new email address for that account and start fresh again. Luckily, I never get junk mail on my personal email account, which I only give out to friends and very trustable websites. But for filling out forms that need an email address and subscribing to newsletters and such, I use a different account. This account gets about 50 junk emails a day because of it. Remember kids, always set up a seperate email account (at a free site like yahoo) to use for filing out online forms.

Omitted Information: CIA Porn

The CIA Filmed A Pornographic Movie


In 1976, a former CIA agent named Joseph Burkholder Smith released a memoir of his twenty-two year long career in the Central Intelligence Agency. The 400+ page book, entitled Portrait of a Cold Warrior, contained one particularly startling undertaking of the U.S. government.
The American government, as exposed by Smith, undertook the filming of a pornographic film that was intended to discredit the President of Indonesia.
Smith wrote, "our special Sukarno [current President of Indonesia] committee was formed to accomplish ... the production of a film, or at least some still photos, [purportedly] showing Sukarno and his Russian girlfriend engaged in his favorite activity…
“We were interested in the impact of this theme outside Indonesia, for our purpose was to present Sukarno in as unfavorable and unsympathetic light as possible. If he were deposed by our friends the colonels, we wanted the world to agree with us that Indonesia would be better off."
To make the film, a look-a-like actor was sought, but when that didn’t work out "we decided that we would try to develop a full-face mask of Sukarno. We planned to ship this out to Los Angeles and ask the police to pay some blue film star to wear it during his big scene", says the film’s director, Robert Maheu. Oddly enough, Maheu came to be Howard Hughe’s chief-assistant in later years.
The film was completed, but never used against Sukarno as intended. However, still photographs were taken for distribution in the Far East.

Sources:
Joseph Smith, Portrait of a Cold Warrior
John Ranelagh, The Agency, p. 332-333, p. 788

Movie Review: Ladder 49

A Hollywood studio gobbled down a ton of money and took a giant shit on all of us, calling it Ladder 49. This film was released about two years or so after 9/11. They obviously started the film in the heat of the patriotism and love for firefighters. This film is just a cheezy ass piece of trash. Everybody is so boring and so fake. It's such a basic Hollywood movie that it doesn't really have to make that much sense at times.

1 1/2 stars

Movie Review: Barfly

The first thought that comes to mind when watching this film was that Buffalo '66 must have been influenced by Barfly. Although, this film has a lot more booze. There are like maybe three scenes in which the main character doesn't have a bottle in his hand. Mickey Rourke stars as the slow talking, care-free bum that can be considered a "barfly." However, the acting reminded me far more of Marlon Brando than of any movie I've seen staring Rourke. It must be the sagging eyes and the slow, care-free, mumble-esque sounds that come out of his mouth. The good news about this film: There is corn smuggling. The bad news: The corn is too ripe to be eaten.

3 1/2 stars

Movie Review: Star Wars Revelations (new)

Before I say anything, you should be aware that Revelations is not the new Star Wars film by George Lucas that is coming soon. Revelations is the new Star Wars film made completely by Star Wars fans. The forty-five minute long film was made independantly for $20,000 and can legally use the "Star Wars" name because it is distributed for free and not a single person profits from it. When you watch this movie, you will be amazed that it was done for a mere $20k. This is because most of the work was done by volunteers; fans of the series that owned storm trooper costumes were invited to play storm trooper extras; fans that were skilled in CGI animation programed the special effects; fans with audio/video abilities helped put their input into the film. And so it went. Eventually what came out was a Star Wars film that compares with Hollywood's endeavors. However, the film does not go without it's faults. Given the simplicity of the plot and the sub-par work of the volunteer actors at times made me feel like I was watching a sci-fi soft core porn movie minus the sex. If you try and put aside those aspects of the film, while keeping in mind it's budget, you will surely be impressed.
You can download the film for free at the official website.

(no rating from me)

Movie Review: Incredibles, The

You know how Pixar always has a short funny cartoon the precedes their movies? Well, the short film before The Incredibles is far from funny. It is annoying as hell. It is like riding on the "It's A Small World After All" boat ride at Disneyland. So, if you rent this movie, don't bother watching the intro-cartoon. That being said, I can now talk about the real film.
I really never was interested in seeing The Incredibles because it always looked to me like a boring predictable cartoon for little kids. It turns out that it wasn't boring, predictable or for little kids. Sure, the little ones would probably enjoy it, but it didn't have the annoying slapstick comedic gimmic of a character hitting his head on something as a joke that is supposed to be funny.... Actually, the movie probably did have one of those in it, but overall the movie isn't that kiddyish. It's not really made to be that funny for adults either though. It didn't seem like it even really tried to be funny. The Incredibles is more like a semi-goofy version of Captain Planet, or some other show about super heroes and action. That's what made it entertaining. There were amazing CGI graphics and beautiful renderings of so many scenes. The plot wasn't nearly as predictable as you would expect either. All this together made it an entertaining film to watch, but that doesn't necessarily make it a good movie. The film lacked substance, originality and humor. Sure, it was interesting to watch the animation and wonder what would happen next, but overall this movie just didn't have the feel a great movie has. Pixar, you peaked with Toy Story.

3 stars

Alex and Buh

This is Alex talking to Buh on my computer with my screenname. The program I used to chat on saved a few random messages, like 5, and this one is funny because Alex is apparently stoned.


AIM message with Buh
10/31/02, 3:41 PM

>Hey Buh.
>They call you Buh
hi
yes
>My name is Alex Brittenham, and I go to Hiland Hizighschool.
oh
>I have clown hair.
>not really.
i thought it was weird that this screename popped beecause i think grayson is mad at me
>red scones.
>What , come on, we are all brothers and sisters.
okay
>Im sure he is happy and cheerful toward you.
i don't think so
>I guess.I have snakes in. My Pockets. what?
i don't think he is happy toward me
>Whya not?
>darras;?
>Sarrad?
>Dr. Zeaius.
because i have been mean to him
>That sucks.
>Well, perhaps someday there will be a brotherhood of beasts and cable skeletons.
>Y
>know?
sure
are you at his house, or just using his screename?
>Im in hizouse.
oh
>Im smurfing 10,0000000 skullouts, says grayson.
ok
>He just waltzed off.
>waltered off.
ok
>altered perception.
>Got it?
i see
>Yeah.
>LEts play rock paper snakes.
why?
>one two go!!!
>snakes!
>I win!
oh
oops
>skulls....
>My skull is numb and dumb right now.
i see
>syeah.
>it s hillarious.
ok
>ill brb
>ok.
>Why do they call you Buh? What does it mean, where am I??
>bass.

Movie Review: Rashomon

Akira Kuwasawa's Rashomon is the closest I've ever seen to a Japanese mystery. It starts off with three men trapped out in the rain discussing different stories they have heard regarding the death of a man. All the different stories are in conflict with each other. Which is the truth? Who is lying? Put this together with an ending that I don't completely understand and that is the film. The best part is the dead man who tells no lies.

3 stars

Ann Coulter And An Arrested Student

Right-wing lunatic Ann Coulter speaks at a college; a progressive student asks a vulgar question; said student is arrested and taken to jail by police.
This is a school! This is a place to learn! When a speaker such as Ann Coulter is taking questions, shouldn't you be able to ask a tough question even if it offends her? It may be illegal bu---- wait a second, it isn't illegal! It is in fact very legal to ask questions in a public forum.


(I've been wanting to write about the recent Time magazine article on Coulter, but I let somebody borrow it and I haven't gotten it back yet)

Albuquerque Journal Breaks The News First

Usually I am critical of what the Albuquerque Tribune reports in their paper, but today's front page story blew me away. I know there is genocide going on in parts of the world, corrupt dictators are being supported by our tax dollars and our democracy has more holes in it than swiss cheese, but this, THIS is the situation we need to be familiar with. With a story this big I think there will be a follow up article or two in the next few days just to cover the overall importance that is this story.

And then God Spoketh... he who shall tradeth Pokemon Cards Shall Suffer

There is so much I didn't know about the Bible until I went to Bible.com! For instance, the Bible is against Pokemon cards. I never knew that before. In fact, I didn't think they had Pokemon cards back then, but Bible.com says that they are evil, so they must be. There is seriously a list of things called "What Does The Bible Say About..." and one of the things is Pokemon. Also it says this about homosexuality:
Much of our society has embraced many perverted sexual practices that are considered in the Bible as abominations to God. Homosexuality is among the list of deviate or abnormal sexual practices however, there are many other practices that can be included as well. Pornography, pedophilia, prostitution, bestiality, oral sex, phone sex and computer virtual reality sex, just to name a few of them.

Do you remember the passage in which Saul commits the crime of virtual reality sex? If I remember correctly, it went like this:
And he was the Lord and God rained a fiery wrath upon the villagers who promoteth virtual reality sex upon His kingdom. Saul was punished by a thousand pins and needles of which the Lord commanded to be shot from the IBMeth computer screen. The Lord then flooded the kingdom with four days of rain. The rain washed away all the computer chips, semen and Kleenix brand tissues.

Also check out this interesting tidbit from Bible.com: The first war ever recorded was the war in heaven where Satan and his evil angels fought against God and his angels.  We know this war was won by God through Christ.
Which is interesting, seeing that Jesus was a Pacifist in every since of the word.

Movie Review: House On Haunted Hill (1959)

House on Haunted Hill (1959) is the classic horror film directed by William Castle. It stars Vincent Price as the owner to an ostensibly haunted mansion. Price invites several guests to the house with the promise that they will each receive ten-thousand dollars if they stay the night. If a guest decides to leave before midnight when the doors are locked, they forfit their stake of the the cash.
At the very start of the film we see a man's head floating in a black space speaking of the mansion. He tells of how people have died there and warns of it's danger. Soon we are presented with the different characters that are all coming to the mansion in different hearses. The camera shows their faces as they ride up the hill as Vincent Price narrates who they are. These two scenes kick off the movie well and leave the viewer dying to see what happens.
With a great film such as House on Haunted Hill, it is hard to find scenes that I didn't enjoy. Nevertheless, the film does not go without it's flaws, albeit, minor ones. There were definately way too many scenes in which the character Nora screamed at the top of her lungs. It seemed to happen every few minutes. The only other scene which I disliked was the scene in which the dead body of Price's wife somehow wrapped a rope around Nora's feet from about twenty feet away. That just didn't make sense.
I really liked the footage shown at the start of the film in which the host gives each guest a "present." The gifts are inside tiny coffins all in a row along the table the camera follows the host's hand as he opens each mini-casket, but the camera is at such an angle that the viewer does not see what lies inside the boxes until the very last one is opened. Another great scene is the one in which the unforunate Nora is once again put under psychological strain when she believes she has seen aghost. From the footage shown before she walks into the room, we have no idea that the room is not empty. Then it cuts to a close up and when she turns around, a scary old woman is creeping right behind her.
This is a very good horror movie and perfect for watching on Halloween. It is un-fortunate how dissapointing the 1999 remake turned out to be. Every scene in the originalus set up very smoothely for optimum spooky-ness. As I mentioned before, the film does not go without it's flaws, but it's overall greatness makes for a viewing that can't be missed.

4 1/2 stars

Movie Review: Haxan

Who has heard of this film?? It's a shame that it isn't more famous than it is. I just happened to come across it a few months ago and after watching it I had trouble finding anyone else who had viewed it. However it is actually on dvd as part of the Criterion Collectoin and I recommend renting it.
The subtitle of the film is "Witchcraft throughout the ages", which is a very fitting subtitle because the movie is a documentary on witchcraft throughout the ages. What makes it all the more interesting is that the film was released in 1922. This was quite a few decades ago, placing it in the silent film era. A grainy, old, dark silent film is exactly the aura a film on witchcraft should have. It also helps that every person involved in producing the film is dead by now.
Haxan is definately not your typical documentary. It has no interviews and has no stock footage. Nevertheless it tells an interesting story on the subject using slideshows, illustrations, reinactments, diagrams, clay-animation and more. In the background is a great original score which was re-recorded only a few years ago in very high quality. Or, if you prefer, you can watch a version of the film with narration by William S. Burroughs that was re-released in the 60s. Both versions are included in the Criterion dvd. I suggest watching the original version (score only, no narration), but be sure to watch the first few minutes of the Burroughs version first. His introduction to the movie is great.

4 1/2 stars

Movie Review: Wag The Dog

Wag the Dog? Not that good of a movie. I saw parts of this movie last year and I thought it was good, but now that I watched the whole thing, I have realized the error of my ways. The overall plot concept is great. The president is involved in a sex-scandal right before his possible re-election needs a fake war to distract the public and boost his ratings. Parts of the movie are good, but the plot wasn't executed well at all. It is way over-done, cheesy and arrogant. I really like the parts of the film that seriously critisize the media and their allegiance to the government, but too much of this movie is just plain cheesy and hollywoody and done for bad entertainment. I don't know how else to say it. Not that I wanted this to be a "serious" film, but it could have been done the way Warren Beatty's Bullworth was made; a halarious movie dead on in critisizing politicians and special interests. Wag the Dog, on the other hand, is just a good idea made into a "silly" hollywood film that tries not to provoke serious thought by going over the top and having cheesy one-liners thrown throughout the film. Could have been a good film if it was done right.

2 1/2 stars

Secret Masturbation Messages in "Stairway to Heaven"

I heard that if you played "Stairway to Heaven" by Led Zeppelin backwards, you could hear a satanic message in one part. I looked it up on the internet and found the part of the song that you can play forwards and then backwards and it has the lyrics for both ways of playing it. You can go to it here. It's pretty interesting and the first half sounds surprisingly dead on.
Still, I believe it is a coincidence... so I to test my theory, I tried my luck at this game by selecting a random verse of the song and playing it backwards on my computer and seeing what "secret message" I could find...

The verse I randomly chose was:
"Your head is humming and it won't go - in case you don't know. The pipers calling you to join him"
(click here to hear it the verse)

When played backwards:
"They never should've wished to jerk my off-And... when one wants to shake me tool, cool, it ain't him, us, it ain't all you!"
(click here to hear it the verse played backwards)

Steal This Weblog!

Check out my new blog! www.stealthisweblog.blogspot.com

Starbucks, Fuck Off!

Whenever you see a Starbucks logo, make sure to deface it!


Visit www.starbuckscoffee.co.uk (anti-starbucks website) before they get shut down, which will most likely be soon. Freedom of speech? Sure, as long as it's appoved by the multi-national corporations.

Better Manners

The Corporation is out on dvd now. It is a great film and I just picked up a copy. If you haven't seen it, I suggest you go rent it now! While looking at the dvd box, I noticed on the back a quote that read "'Better manners and a longer fuse than Fahrenheit 9/11' - Entertainment Weekly." Better manners? I didn't realize there was a obligation of courtesy when exposing the president as a liar and a theif.