Conservatives Flunk In English

Often I see bumper stickers on SUVs that read "freedom isn't free." What?? People with such bumper stickers seriously need to brush up on their vocabulary. They've got their grammer down, but their word usage isn't quite up to par. I can only assume that they meant to say "this hummer wasn't free" (or something along those lines). I blame these "freedom isn't free" stickers on one thing and one thing only: HORRIBLE SPELLING. I mean, to write "f-r-e-e-d-o-m" instead of "t-h-i-s h-u-m-m-e-r" is not only a terrible spelling error gone ary, it forms a blatent contradictorary sentance: to say "FREEDOM isn't free" requires completely ignoring what the word actually means. Reading these bumper stickers gives me the impression that we (as U.S. citizens) have a duty to "repay" the country for our freedom by serving it by means of fighting. This seriously contradicts the actual definition of the word.
To save you the time of thumbing through your own, I'll give you some examples of what the dictionaries have to say: The American Herritage Dictionary describes freedom as "exemption from an unpleasant or onerous condition" and "exemption from the arbitrary exercise of authority in the performance of a specific action." The Merriam Webster's Dictionary of Law describes freedom as "the absence of necessity, coercion, or constraint in choice or action" and the good folks at Princeton University consider freedom to be "immunity from an obligation or duty." DAMN! Those conservatives must feel like idiots driving around with those stickers! I bet a few of them later stumbled upon the definition of the word eventually and frantically tried to peel the sticker off of their precious H2 model Hummer to save themselves further embarrasment. But have you ever tried to take one of those stickers off?? You can't! It's impossible! And if you do somehow manage getting one off, the sticker rips some of the paint off with it and knocks down your vehicle's value by about 60%! You know, in a way I feel bad for these people that are literally stuck with these stickers on their cars. But still, there are many that still believe that their bumper sticker actually does make some sort of sense. These people just haven't learned any better.
So next time when you see one of those poor souls driving thier Hummer up a steep rocky cliff, or hauling large pieces of wood across the coldest depths of the artic, or driving all terrian across the dessert or performing any of the common functions SUV owners are known for taking advantage of, don't get mad and don't make fun of their sticker. It isn't their fault they don't understand. Just hand them a dictionary and they'll learn from their mistakes on their own.