Thinking of all the people I must have inspired with my last guide to politics, I decided to make another. I will now give you a list of tips that will come in handy if you want to run for president.
1. Try to be born into a presidential family to start with.
2. Have lots of money.
3. It always looks good if you are in the military in some way or another before you run for election. Don't worry, if an actual war comes, you can always run away and pretend you didn't. Nobody will mind (besides, as Bill Maher said, actually staying in the military when war comes is just showing off).
3. Make sure you have relatives that govern a swing state or two, just in case.
4. DON'T have kids! When you are in power, they will do crazy things like drink alcohol or come out of the closet (when you have already proclaimed you are against gay rights). Doh! You will regret having them. This is where Bush/Cheny went wrong.
5. Relax! Hey, who ever said you have to know anything to become president? Why study and learn about the world you will soon control when drinking and driving and snorting cocaine is so much more fun??
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